CraZy

You know, the whole Blue tooth cell phone head device thing has really blurred the line between normal people who talk on their phone in public and crazy people who talk to themselves in public. It's like, now, I feel the need to question it every time I see someone just chatting into open air. Are they talking to their mom on the phone? Or to the purple unicorn they see standing on the sidewalk? Who knows?

Today, I was driving to my grandparents' house and stopped at a stop sign. Across the intersection from me a guy had his head thrown back completely in a wide mouth, show-me-every-single-molar kind of laugh. And he was talking. There was no one in the car with him. So, I wondered... crazy? Considering he was driving a Jaguar and wearing a business suit, I'll give him the benefit of the doubt. His laugh was probably less of an evil plan Count Dracula laugh and more of a "Oh haha, dear, don't be silly, of course we're not going on holiday to St. Tropez. You know we always go to St. Barts," or a "Haha, you're so funny Tom, with your talk of flying commercial." At least, that's what I'd be laughing about if I was a business man in a Jag. So yeah, he probably had a little ear piece hidden under his overgrown frat boy shaggy hair cut.

However, it's hard to say. A few days ago I was in the produce section at the grocery store, innocently trying to decide if there really was any merit to that whole "apple a day" thing when I hear the woman to my left begin speaking. It was one of those things where I initially thought she was talking to me so I looked at her, but she was totally focused on the fruit in front of her. She looked pretty normal so I assumed it was the ear piece trick again. Then I focused on what she was saying: "You are so pretty and plump." That didn't sound right. Maybe she was talking to someone who didn't mind being called plump? Seemed odd. And then she went on "You are going to be so sweet and delicious." Oh yeah. She was talking to a grapefruit. She picked it up and stared at it. I decided it was time to move on to the cheese department which is exactly where I should have been in the first place. You don't see crazy people in the cheese section. Just happy people.

3rd Place Weiner!

Yesterday Rosie took third place in the condo complex -wide pet Halloween costume contest. And frankly, I can't remember ever being so proud. She was dressed as a hot dog. It was actually an old costume - not what she'll be dressing as on Halloween, but it's always a hit.
I felt little bit guilty about enforcing the weiner dog stereotype. I read a book last year called The Hallo-wiener (I strongly recommend it) and in it was a dachshund named Oscar who is incessantly teased because he's a "weiner dog" and then is humiliated when he's to wear a hot dog costume on Halloween. After reading that I wondered if maybe Rosie felt similarly to Oscar. I'd never asked. But then, one day earlier this fall, I was taking Rosie for a walk and we were returning to my condo from the park when an SUV comes flying by and some teenager has his body half way out the front window as he screams "WEINER DOG" at Rosie. She ran barking after him. I figured that was my answer. She doesn't appreciate the stereotype. So I've tried to be sensitive. But, this was a big contest and I knew the hot dog costume was our best chance for winning.
So, she came in behind the poodle dressed as Snow White and the yellow lab in a swimsuit and goggles. Part of that could have been because a cocker spaniel pulled the buns off of Rosie and ran off with them halfway through the constest. I guess those are the risks that come with competing. However, third prize was a box of bones that supposedly taste like turkey. Rosie has been very pleased with them so far. So I think some important lessons were learned. 1) Sometimes stereotypes can be funny and not offensive. 2) Rosie is a hot commodity when it comes to competing for bones. 3) Avoid cocker spaniels when you're wearing stuffed hot dog buns on your back.
*the photo is one taken in 2006 of Rosie wearing the costume - not from yesterday's competition

Premiering

So I decided to blog (again). Incidentally, I hate the word "blog" so from now on I'll be making my best effort not to use it. So, another thing I'm not all that fond of is the initial posting in a blog. It is during this posting that I'm supposed to be telling you who I am, why I want to post things about myself for all of the online world to see, and then I should probably make some self deprecating remark about how this blog won't be all that exciting. I think I will do all of these things, but I'm going to try a different approach. We'll pretend you (my reader) and me (the writer) have just run into each other and I am telling you that I'm starting a blog. Oh, and also, I'm telling you about me. And maybe I'll toss in something self deprecating.

Let's say that this meeting takes place at Chick-fil-A. This isn't a farfetched idea. I go to Chick-fil-A pretty much every other day. Let's also say I'm eating a chicken biscuit. This is more for my benefit than yours because I'm enjoying imagining eating a chicken biscuit. (Let me just pause briefly here and say that if you, my reader, have never had the chance to enjoy a chicken biscuit from Chick-fil-A, I'd recommend that you shut out of this screen, get off the internet, walk out of your door and go get one. Unless it's after 10:30 a.m. or Sunday. Then, go ahead and finish reading and go get one later.) Ok, I digress. So, we're in Chick-Fil-A. I'm sitting at a table and you approach.

You: Hey Sarah! I thought that was you! Wow! Why do you have 27 chicken biscuits on your table?

Me: Oh hey you! How's it going? Oh, these biscuits are just for some friends. (Fact #1 and #2 about me: I love food and I will occasionally avoid the truth in order to cover up things like an obsession with chicken biscuits.)

You: I'm good. What are you up to these days?

Me: Well, let's see. I work for a magazine. I live in Atlanta. I write a lot. I go to a lot of parties for my job. My miniature dachshund is the apple of my eye. (I think you can figure out what the facts are here)

You: Oh, that's nice. (Probably you wouldn't really say this if I said those things. Probably you would think I was a crazy dachshund lady who eats 27 biscuits. But, for the purpose of this entry, we're going to pretend.) So, are you doing anything new? (Again, we're pretending.)

Me: Well, funny you should ask that. I just decided today to start one of those online web logs. You know, I think kids these days are calling them blogs.

You: Really? Why would you want to do that?

Me: Well, I can't really say. Maybe it's partly because I write so much for work that sometimes I like the idea of just writing for fun. Or maybe it's because it's something I used to do and I miss it. Or it could be something deeper, like I feel some deep humanistic need to chronicle my brief days on earth. But I think mostly it's because sometimes my dachshund doesn't get all of the stories I tell, so I like the idea of sharing them with people. Just for a change.

Now, in this story, realistically, you would probably smile, nod and turn around and leave. Never to return to listen to any more crazy talk from the biscuit lady. Hopefully you won't do that in regards to this blog though. Because I promise, the first entry is always the worst.