Udders?

Rosie has noticably large breasts. There. I said it. I am officially a very weird person for acknowledging the size of my dog's breasts, but they are impossible to ignore. Mostly because people point them out all of the time. And it is so awkward.

Today, some friends from work stopped by my condo with me at lunch time to let Rosie out. Staring at Rosie, their first question was "Why does it look like she has udders?"

Tonight my small group from church came over. Rosie was playing on the rug with her bone and as I was fixing coffee in the kitchen, I hear them discussing the size of her breasts. "Is that normal?" "Do all dogs have nipples that large?"

Now, with friends, I play this off with the old "Oh, you know, runs in the family." But lately, people have been stopping me in the park to ask if she is pregnant or just had puppies. What am I supposed to say then? No, I'm sorry, ma'am and small child. My dog just has a really nice rack.

I mean, it is seriously awkward. For me, and I'd imagine for Rosie too. Although, she seems pretty oblivious and even like a little bit of an exhibitionist to be honest. I've thought about asking her vet about it. But I really don't even know where to start. I mean, my thoughts here are that maybe dogs are just like people. Some are more well endowed than others. Rosie's just been blessed with a hot, dachshund body. And asking the vet if it's possible that my dog is just genetically blessed seems like a conversation destined to turn my face bright red.

So, for now, I'll have to keep playing off the questions. And consider getting Rosie a bra. Or eight.