Roomies

I've roomed with some random people on this trip. And I'm not just talking about Laura, who gags every time she brushes her teeth and Everett, who talks incessantly about how amazing his sleeping bag is every time he gets in it.

I have literally slept in the same room with countless people over the last few weeks. Countless because some of the rooms I don't even know how many people were in them.

Most notable among them are Michael and Vick (easy enough names for two girls from Atlanta to remember) in our beachside bure in Fiji; Neil, the British guy who wore boxers WAY too short for him in bed and then forgot to cover with a sheet in the morning; the guy with an odd lip piercing sleeping six inches from me in our prison like dorm in Nadi; Elliot and John, the two British guys who kept Laura and I up until early morning asking us to pack their backpacks for them and make them sandwiches - among their less offensive suggestions; the seriously goth girl who was reading a book called Slasher alone by herself in the room all night in Wellington; the very short German guy who I almost smushed in the middle of the night from the top bunk falling through... the list could go on.

However, the guy in our room last night beat them all. We were staying in a hostel for our last night in New Zealand in a dorm room with 8 people total. Of course, per usual, Laura and I were the only girls. Last night was a little unusual for two reasons. 1) We had to set our alarm for 3:30 a.m. in order to catch our flight this morning to Australia. 2) I have the worst cold EVER. And I could NOT stop coughing. Like, uncontrollable loud coughing.

So, after a shower, I settled into my bottom bunk and proceeded to cough up my left lung. There was an older German guy standing next to my bed who began shaking his head.

"Are you sick?"

I nodded.

"Did you take medicine?"

"Yes, a lot." (I had pretty much swigged down a bottle of cough medicine.)

"You need to drink tea. Hot tea."

I laughed, hoping he'd take the hint that I didn't need his medical advice. I just wanted to go to sleep.

Then he took his shirt off, muttering something about it being hot.

Then he muttered something about my mother not being there to take care of me. Then he said something in German and laughed. To himself.

"What?" I asked.

"Nothing," he giggled again. "I can't tell you."

I rolled over, glad Everett was on the bunk above me because this German was creepy.

"You really need hot tea," he insisted.

I rolled back over, coughing. "I'm too hot to drink hot tea," I said, because I felt pretty feverish.

"Really?" he seemed incredulous. Then he began tsking as if that was absolutely terrible news. He was packing his bag and kept walking in and out of the room. Everett and Laura and I began talking a few moments later and somehow the conversation came around to Everett saying something negative about people dating people they'd met on the internet.

The German jerked around as if he'd physically been slapped. I kicked the bottom of Everett's bunk, wishing he'd take it back, certain this guy was going to kill us in the middle of the night for insulting internet dating.

"Oh, I don't know, I think it's great. Lot's of people find true love that way," I said loudly.

He turned back to his packing, seeming content for the time being.

A little bit later I fell asleep. Finally.

But then, around 2 a.m. I woke back up (coughing of course) to see you know who, crawling out of his bed wearing black bikini briefs! His bed was right next to mine and he stood right next to me, with his light shining behind him. I closed my eyes, wishing I'd never seen that.

He walked out to go to the bathroom and I leaned forward, tapping Everett on the bunk above me, whispering to him to check out the German. A few minutes later, after getting locked out of the room and having to have someone open the door for him, he returned, in his undies. Everett looked at him, moaned and then rolled back over.

This morning, Everett was none too pleased with me. Apparently, he feels that there is very little worth waking him up in the middle of the night for and that German guys in black underwear are DEFINITELY NOT on that list. Something he has reminded me of multiple times today.

Frankly, I'm just glad I never have to share a room with that guy again.