Full Moon

Before I came here I was told that the Full Moon party in Thailand was supposed to be one of the craziest and most fun parties in the entire world. With a reputation like that, I planned our entire trip to ensure that we would be here for this supposedly amazing party. As the time drew closer to it, I began to get nervous that maybe this would kind of be a 'New Years Eve kind of scenario' where there's just too much build up and the night ends up being kind of a dud. However, as it turns out, the party more than lived up to its rep. I'm going on somewhere close to 40 hours with no sleep so bear with me in this description. Some events of the evening have been edited due to a)it was a long night and there was just too much going on and b) certain viewership on this site prohibits much above a G rating.

8:00 p.m. - Laura, Everett and I board a small bus that will take us to a speed boat to cross from our island to Koh Phangan, the island where the party is held.

8:10 p.m. - We convince the bus driver to put in his 50 Cent CD. And turn it up. Everett keeps yelling "7 a.m.!" because thats when he says we're staying at the party until. He'd been saying this for days.

8:45 p.m. - After driving in circles for the last 45 minutes and making random convenience store stops for drinks, our driver finally locates another group he was supposed to pick up. It's three crazy Scottish backpackers and they're taking swigs from a fifth of liquor that they pass around the bus. While 50 Cent blares.

9:00 p.m. - We board the speed boat to the island with about 50 other very excited partiers.

9:20 p.m. - Laura and I were sitting in the front of the boat on the same side as the driver. I had a bottle of Sprite I'd decided I didn't want so I began to pour it out of the boat. Unfortunately, due to the fact that we were traveling at about 60 miles an hour and the angle of the bottle, I didn't take into consideration that the Sprite would go flying in the face of our boat driver. I didn't actually realize it had happened until the boat suddenly came to a total stop in the middle of the ocean. Laura turned to me and said "oh no, you think it's a shark?" (I don't know why we would stop for a shark). Then I hear Everett from below deck asking why in the world our driver had come to the bottom part of the boat and was pouring water bottles all over his face. Then I realized what had happened. I told Laura to act casual. As she still didn't know what had happened, that wasn't too hard. Then I explained and we both looked back to see the spray of Sprite across the windshield. Luckily, the rest of the people on the boat were really too drunk to know or care what happened. Except our now blind captain. I felt kind of bad about him.

9:40 p.m. - We arrive at Koh Phangan. And it is insane. The streets are packed with people making their way to the beach where the party is held. About every five feet another vendor is selling these buckets that basically include one can of soda, one can of red bull and about 12 shots of liquor as far as I can tell. We jump right in with the crowd and are soon carrying our multi colored buckets to the beach where we can hear techno pumping.

10:30ish p.m. - Everett has declared that we all need glow in the dark body paint. Just about every other person on the beach has it so we begin walking, looking for a place that will paint us. Walking down the packed beach involves stepping over about 35 passed out people just to go about 20 yards. We pause briefly to ask if we can help with one girl who looks like her friend just drug her out of the ocean.

11ish p.m. - Everett now has SAME SAME painted in blue across his chest. I have stars down my arm. Laura, who has flames down her arm, has turned the paintbrush on the painter and is painting stuff on his face.

11:30ish p.m. - A man who looks like Weird Al, but weirder, is dancing in front of a crowd of people wearing a leopard print speedo bathing suit. He then pulls down the bathing suit. Laura cheers and he comes off the stage to dance with her.

12ish a.m. - Everett and I lose Laura in a crowd. I stand up on a stool to find her, but then decide dancing on the stool is more fun than the sand and I end up staying there for a good half hour. Everett claims I began dancing like John Travolta 70's style as soon as my feet hit the stool. That's up for debate, but there are some photos that make it seem like it could be true.

12:45ish a.m. - Laura and I have lost Everett. We finally relocate him. Laura yells at Everett to quit disappearing. Everett yells at Laura that if she keeps talking to him like that he will slap her in the face. I take this as my cue to slap him in the face. He then shoves me across several Thai people and into the sand. Then he walks away while Laura yells after him "you're crazy! you're crazy!" That was the last time we saw Everett on Koh Phangan.

1ish a.m. - Laura and I are sitting on the beach near the water watching about 85 guys lined up and down the beach peeing into the water. Laura is bawling crying saying that she is very angry at Everett and then alternatively profusely apologizing for complaining to me about my brother.

1:20ish a.m. - I literally pull Laura off the beach up to one of the bars, insisting that we only get to come to the Full Moon party once and we're going to make the most of it. We end up sitting on stools near the bar where eventually a British guy finds us and starts spouting off wise words of only living once and there is no pouting at the Full Moon Party... or something to that effect.

2ish a.m. - I am offered ectasy for about the 73rd time that night.

3ish a.m. - I am dancing and Laura is a few feet away. Suddenly, I feel water gushing onto my feet. I reach down and realize that the water is coming from a water bottle that I had in my purse. And it's not just leaking. Someone has slashed open the bottom of my new fake North Face bag in which I'm carrying both Laura and I's passports and money. In the process of cutting the bag in an attempt to steal my stuff, the guy has also cut open my water bottle. Thank goodness, or I probably wouldn't have even noticed it. Then I look behind me and realize the guy is still standing there with the razor in his hand. I was pretty angry. Partially because stealing from me makes me angry. And partially because I paid good dong for that North Face bag- fake or not. I turned around and shoved the guy over backwards and into the sand. While he was heavier than me, he was also shorter. And I was very angry. I also think I had some element of suprise because for the most part people don't expect blond American girls to be shoving them over. He was not happy. He jumped out of the sand and started coming at me again, this time angry and still holding his razor. The thing was, I was still angry too. So I rushed at him and shoved him backwards into the sand again. Seriously. I don't know what got into me. But I don't like robbers. After his second landing in the sand, the crowd kind of realized something was going on and we were both pushed off in separate directions. I never saw him again.

4 a.m. - Laura has been dancing on the same short stool for the last three hours. I have sweat about 17 water bottles out of my body. She says she'd like to take a break so we head back down to the water to watch more people pee and people engage in other illicit activies waterside.

5 a.m. - We walk back through town to catch the boat back.

6:15ish a.m. - Our boat arrives back on Koh Samui. I have drifted to sleep on the life jacket of the random Australian guy next to me. The sun is starting to come up.

6:30 a.m. - Laura and I are tossed into some random pick up truck that takes us around the entire island and finally back to our hotel.

7 a.m. - Laura and I collapse in beach chairs in front of the hotel (we hadn't rented a room yet) as the sun is rising we drift to sleep.

7:20 a.m. - I wake up because the sun has risen and I feel like I'm on fire. I walk across the beach to a shady area and sit, trying not to fall asleep and wishing check in time at 11:30 would hurry up and come.

8 a.m. - I am getting very nervous as I haven't seen Everett in hours. We had agreed to meet back at the hotel as a last resort if we got lost. The last boat left from the island at 7 a.m. so even if he'd caught that, he should have been back.

8:30 a.m. - Laura and I are sitting on the road now, waiting for Everett.

9:30 a.m. - Laura is eating a McDonalds cheeseburger and I feel like I'm dying. Everett still isn't there. I'm trying to figure out how in the world I'm going to start looking for him. And how in the world I'm going to explain this to my parents.

10 a.m. - Laura goes back to the hotel to check with the owner to see when our room will be ready. The owner tells her that our friend is in the room where we left our bags. He'd been there since 2 a.m. "You didn't know?" Apparently Mr. "We're Gonna Party ALL Night Long" hadn't even stayed on the island past 1 a.m. I've been making fun of him ever since I heard this news.

10:05 a.m. - I'm so relieved to see Everett that I'm not even mad about the fact that he has disappeared for the last 10 hours. We all three climb into the king sized bed and Everett and I laugh for an hour straight looking at the night's photos. I've never been happier for a bed and air conditioning in my life.

4 p.m. - Everett and Laura make up.