Glen

Today I saw my first kangaroo in the wild. And she had a baby 'roo (called a "Joey") tucked in her pouch with his legs hanging out. How cool is that? The real beauty of the day though didn't lay in the kangaroo, or all of the fabulous outback scenery we saw, but rather in Glen, our tour guide, and possibly one of the more entertaining people I've ever met.

Glen is Australian and I'm pretty sure if there was ever a runner up for the Crocodile Hunter, he's the guy. He arrived to pick us up, phone attached to ear, full khaki gear and directed us just to jump in a van he kind of randomly gestured towards around the corner. This kind of laid back behavior is fairly typical in Australia from what I've seen.

As soon as Glen climbed into the van he began what I can only describe as the longest monologue from one human being I've ever heard. He began talking with no real direction and he never stopped. He would pause briefly in the middle of telling us the derivation of a word, or about a show he'd seen on Vikings and I'd think he was finished. But no, he would immediately launch back in, just as enthusiastically as before on a completely different subject.

At one point he mentioned reading the Guinness Book of World Records, which explained a lot because Glen was big on throwing out record holding details. His brain's capacity for numbers and plant life was beyond anything I've ever encountered. During the tour we drove to the Olympic park where the 2000 Olympics occured. Glen, for no apparent reason, suddenly threw on the brakes as we drove into the park, stopping across the street from a random tree that looked like any other.

He jumped out of the drivers seat, apparently thrilled to have seen something he could show us. He then proceeded to grab blossoms off the tree, return to the van and give us the most detailed anatomy lesson of a tree that I've ever had. Including actual biology classes.

He did get off track occasionally though. Like, when he suddenly stopped the entire group, mid hike and said "I've been doing this for years and I've NEVER seen that" in a voice that made me certain we were about to encounter a man eating crocodile. He kept dragging out his surprise to the extent that I thought for sure, whatever we were going to see, was insanely groundbreaking. It turned out Glen had just spotted a woman bringing a stroller down the mountain. Which, while impressive, brought him down a few notches in the competition for Crocodile Hunter.

Glen also liked to entertain himself throughout the day. His cell phone rang about every 15 minutes with the theme music from the Lone Ranger. And Glen would laugh every time. Later in the day, I was following close behind him on a hike when he suddenly sped off through a small cave and around the corner. By the time I came out of the cave, he'd disappeared. I paused, looking around, as everyone else caught up, asking where he was. Then, he suddenly appeared back at the back of the group again, laughing and slapping me on the shoulder as he went by, noting how funny his little trick was. The best part was that like 10 minutes later, he turned to me and was like "That'd be really funny though if I just disappeared right?"

I do feel though that Glen taught me more than I've ever been taught in a day. My mind is bursting with a wealth of knowledge about Sydney, male and female pine trees, and random flowers. I almost wish I could just bring him along on the rest of our trip.