Laura v. Jet Ski

This morning we decided to go jet skiing. It was a beautiful day, the water was calm and it only cost $50 for 40 minutes for three people. So, after strapping on our life jackets and having a little bit of trouble getting the jet ski started, we were off.

Until today I thought Everett was the worst jet ski driver I'd ever ridden with. As he has been my brother for some 24 odd years now, I've had the opportunity to ride with him driving a jet ski a fair amount of time. And 90% of those times I've been pretty certain that he was trying to kill me.

Today was no exception. Once we got on, I sat in the middle and Laura sat behind me. We both hung on for dear life as Everett screamed like a mad man and we flew through the air hitting wave after wave. It was fun though and we were going up and down the coast checking out the various beach areas and hotels.

Then, Everett offered to let one of us drive. I declined as the idea of basically giving two adults piggy back rides while you hang on for dear life sounded kind of painful. I've driven a three person jet ski before and it left my arms and back sore for days. That was on a fairly calm lake. I didn't want to do it in the middle of the ocean.

Laura however jumped at the chance. I told her it was going to be hard- especially considering that Everett and I are collectively about a foot and a half taller than her. I warned her that I wasn't so sure this was a good idea. She said that if it got too hard she would switch with Everett. I shrugged.

The minute and a half that Laura drove the jet ski was one of the more insane of my life. Her basic method for driving was to gun it and go at full speed, but then us pulling her would be too much so she would immediately take all the gas off so that we would then slam into her. However, all of this came to an abrupt stop very quickly.

I'm really not even sure that we lasted a full minute and a half before I heard Everett scream (I couldn't see over him to the front) and we all went flying about 7 feet in the air off the jet ski into the middle of the ocean.

As soon as we landed I don't even think I took the time to make sure everyone was ok before I was sprinting for the jet ski which was floating about 15 feet away. While I will swim all day on the shore, I become extremely paranoid in the middle of the ocean. In my mind that is where the big fish live. In my mind they are also following any floating craft, just waiting for someone to, say, go catapulting off of it at 30 miles an hour.

I was about 3 feet away from the jet ski when Everett suddenly screamed and took off swimming. Laura then screamed "what?!" to which Everett responded "shark!"

This is the stuff of my nightmares.

I was on the jet ski in record time and hurriedly pulled Everett up behind me. Laura seemed to be swimming in slow motion. And she looked very panicky. I was trying to figure out just exactly what I was going to do if a shark attacked Laura. At that point, just as Laura was able to get back on board, the guy who had rented us the jet skis sped over to make sure we were ok. I've never been happier to have three people out of the water in my life.

The sharks existence was never totally confirmed. But Everett swears he saw it just underneath him. And, as the water was crystal clear and Everett generally tells the truth, I believe him. So, I blame Laura a little for trying to kill me. But, we all lived- and all still have all of our limbs - so I'm glad about that.

Hopefully I'll be able to say the same after tonight's party.