Take Note

To the person who works in my building and is the owner of the new black Range Rover with the license plate that reads “1PAYCHK,” I want to punch you in your face.

I’m sorry. I know this reaction may be a little bit much, but seriously? One paycheck? You want us all to know that you make enough in one paycheck for your car? (Which, by the way, I do love a lot.) I understand your pride. If I made that kind of money and drove that kind of car, there’s a chance I might be puffing the old chest out a bit.

But really, vanity plates are kind of pushing the douche bag envelope enough without having one like that. And with that plate, I can only assume that you’re the type of person who wears sunglasses inside which is going to make it all the more painful when I punch you. That and the fact that I frequently walk a pretty strong 10-pound dachshund so my right arm is pretty powerful. Sorry. But seriously, you asked for it.